Tag Archives: Meaningful Actions

No Matter What

My friend Janet Archer recently posted this very sweet story about her mom. I thank her for permission to share it with you.

Janet also teaches yoga, is a life coach, and mindfulness mentor. Read about her at: janetarcher.com

Janet-cross-roads

It’s really interesting, the workings of the mind.

My mom says that she just wants to die, she’s ready.
She fell the other night.
Crawled all the way from her bathroom to her bed
where her life line necklace hangs
because she refuses to wear it.
She says its too heavy
and looks way to ugly to put on.
But she obviously knows where it lives;
on her bed post,
and she knows how to push the button
which is not an easy feat
as I tried to do it once
and didn’t signal anyone because I hadn’t pushed hard enough.
She’s strong.
And in that moment, on the floor, she forgot that she wanted to die.
Last weekend, in the car, she was complaining that she hadn’t slept at all the night before,
not one wink of sleep
and she was afraid that she might get sick.
She wants to die, but she is afraid she might get sick.
You would think that she would want to get sick so her possibility of dying would be increased.
I don’t try to have any of it make sense.
I don’t try to have her see the folly of her thinking and acting.
I don’t make her wrong.
I don’t tell her how it could or should be.
I’ve been diligently practicing minding my own business.
Because the truth is, I don’t know
what should be.
I just know
what is;
my mom wanting to die and wanting to live.
Even though she has dementia,
she’s no different than me;
we both want someone
to hear us and love us,
 and we long to know that we are not alone.
“I’ll be here for you mom,”
no matter which road
you travel down
and no matter how many times
you change your mind.